Crocodile

Translated from the Persian original.

Crocodile

You know, crocodiles have a hard time walking on land, so they prefer to sit for long stretches, silent and still, under muddy water. Basically they're solitary creatures. Word had spread pretty much everywhere that I had a crocodile. See, it had gone missing in the house, and I came looking for it and saw it wasn't in the yard, and the yard gate was open. I ran out in whatever I had on and looked left and right, and it wasn't there, and in a panic I was ringing the neighbors' bells: hello, you haven't seen a crocodile, such-and-such description? Then I'd explain to everyone that it was a pet and harmless, and if you see it, don't be scared. I was asking the kids in the alley and explaining to them when, little by little, I noticed that everyone in the alley was going back and forth with things like sticks and pipes and knives. Before long the police arrived. He said, hello, are you the crocodile's owner? I was glad and said quickly, yes, have you found it? He said no, please sign the bottom of this report and come to the station tomorrow to follow up on the case. I felt I now had two problems, but first I had to settle the crocodile's fate, and then came a commotion from one of the neighbors' yards, a woman screaming, careful, it's a wild animal. It turned out the crocodile had gotten out, and the old man next door, who probably already knew I kept it, had invited it into his house. I went and knocked on his door and said cheerfully, thank you so much for finding it, you've really put my mind at ease, and asked to take my crocodile. The old man said, this isn't your crocodile. An animal isn't a car or a house. Up until yesterday it was at your place, now it happened to find the door open and came here. And you don't have a deed or papers for it. I got angry and said, what kind of talk is that? Just because the animal can't speak to say it's mine, you're making yourself its owner. He said, sir, don't waste my time, and don't go throwing accusations around for nothing, if you're upset you can go file a complaint. Obviously, filing a complaint was the last thing I could do. But I went and rang again and said, sir, could you sell me my own crocodile? I didn't know what his problem with me was. He said no, but you can go buy me one exactly like this crocodile and bring it here. I said, sir, this is a baby crocodile, they brought it to me from far away, how and where am I supposed to get you a crocodile at this hour of the night? I asked, why are you trying to give me a hard time? The old man gave me a look and said, I want to give you a hard time because you brought an animal like that where we live and put people's wives and children in danger. If one of my grandchildren had been here and gotten hurt, I'd have taught you such a lesson you'd learn not to be so selfish. I explained to the old man that, given the conditions it's being raised in, this crocodile isn't wild anymore, and all that kind of talk, and apologies, and those empty I-was-wrongs for leaving the door open. When suddenly something flashed through my mind like lightning: my mother always used to say that this old man and old woman never had any children, and that for years, like ghosts, they haven't even socialized with anyone. I sank so deep into myself that I don't know how I picked up the gando, and the old man looked at me as if he'd been found out: not a crocodile. He muttered some phantom words under his breath and shut the door. I don't have a crocodile and this was a story, but every time I see a crocodile I wonder how, with teeth that big, it puts up with toothache.

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